When we talk about intimacy, we don't just mean purely the physical i.e. purely sex, we mean the emotional intimacy too. They go hand in hand and are at the core of every committed partnership. Both are just as important to support communication, trust and openness within a relationship. Relationships can 'survive' without intimacy, but the result is general unhappiness and a lack of security for both parties. Without security and happiness a relationship can become very complicated.
We have 5 steps that you can try, which through our research at Adult Planet we have found these to be the most successful.
1. Talking About It
Yep, we've gone there straight with our first suggestion. Talking.
Talking helps to clarify misunderstandings and pave the way to clear the air. It gives each of you a forum to be more open about your thoughts, feelings and needs. By putting aside the difficulty faced with dealing with a tough conversation, you show your partner a level of vulnerability. This also displays openly to your partner that you are really putting your fear aside for the opportunity to invest in the heath of the relationship. Someone has to make the first move often to get things moving.
2. Go to Bed at the Same Time
It is easy to slip into times where you say to your partner 'I'll join you upstairs in a bit' once your favourite TV show is done or you've finished the washing up! If you have opposite schedules, then making a change and bringing some routine here will help increase your feelings of intimacy.
Bringing up the good old times, and especially times where you both had really great fun, fabulous sex or just spent some real quality time together can invoke the feels that were felt doing those particular memories. This helps to remember there was a spark and helps to remember the reason why there were ever those feelings.
4. Be Spontaneous
Try just giving your partner a kiss, or a greeting with open arms, suggest going for a drink or a walk or something out of the normal routine. Demonstrate your love in a different way, and breaking up the monotony with something a little different may lead to some additional suggestibility which is always fun!
5. Love Yourself Too
If you don't spend time on loving yourself and feeling good within, it can make it harder to give the love and show your partner those intimate feelings. You both need each other at their best, and you can help each other with that, but there has to be a starting point from within. If you take care of you, you have more chance to take care and give the effort needed to create an intimate setting within your relationship.