Premature ejaculation is one of the few things in life that couldn't be more frustrating and disappointing for a guy.
It doesn't just feel bad for you, but it impacts on your partner... and the worst thing is you know it. Double whammy. It can be totally embarrassing, and it changes one of the most amazing feelings in the world, to one of the worst. You don't wanna have to apologise for something you didn't know was going to happen, couldn't control it from happening and something that affects you even more than your partner!
Unfortunately though, for people with a penis, premature ejaculation is surprisingly common. Apparently, you are more likely to experience premature ejaculation in your twenties or thirties, however it is known to affect one in three guys at some point during their lives.
There is often comfort is numbers, and knowing you are not the only one can certainly help. It is good to know there are so many other guys out there with PE, the only thing is it doesn't help you in reality. You don't want to have to explain to your partner that, well, loads of other guys experience premature ejaculation so actually this is really normal. That explanation just won't do it when you've ejaculated after one minute. So, the good news is there are things you can do which will help you last longer in bed, and move away from the horrific experiences of premature ejaculation. Using the tips below or a combination of these means you wont always have to put up with orgasming too quickly. Bring on the longer sex sessions!
How Long is the Average Time to Ejaculation?
Believe it or not, the average time to ejaculation is usually about 6 minutes. Some guys can keep going for a whopping 53 minutes but most in reality seem to last between 4 and 11 minutes. This was measured, in a fairly 'clunky' manner by starting a stop watch (quite literally) once the penetrative intercourse had started and stopped at the point of ejaculation. Guys who have premature ejaculation struggle to last 1 minute before ejaculating and the diagnosis for PE takes into account lasting less than one minute, but for this to be routine for the guy.
There are ways though! Before we get into some of the more substantial tips, you must remember that all is not lost if you orgasm quickly with your partner. You can make the most of the time it takes to 'reload' and get stimulating your partner with your hands or mouth. Focus your attention there, keep them in the game and keeping your mind on the prize does help once you are ready to go again. Since you came already, you should be able to go longer on round two.
PE is menacing and frustrating because you seemingly have no control over it. No-one wants to be thinking about their list of jobs during sex just to slow things down a couple of seconds. But, are there real solutions? Luckily, there are, and hopefully a few of these suggestions will help your premature ejaculation and you will enjoy the effects of being able to last longer in bed.
Top 5 Ways to Last Longer in BedTake.It.Slow
This practice could make you start masturbating a whole new way, with a whole new mindset. Instead of just whipping it out, beating the meat and ejaculating is 2 minutes flat, the idea of edging is to push yourself longer and longer through masturbation before you cum.
The technique here is to arouse yourself so you are pretty turned on. Maybe about 70%. When you reach this, stop! Let your arousal level drop a good deal to about 40-50%. Control your desire to quickly finish yourself off, but do get yourself to about 80%. Stop again, let your arousal level drop again to 50-60% and then go again. Hopefully by now, you have already surpassed the two minute mark! You have to push yourself right to the limit though now, to so close to that point of no return, and then pause again. Bring yourself right back down to about 70%. This last bit you MUST repeat until you get past at least 10 minutes. Time yourself, do what you have to, but just keep it going...Soon, you'll be surprised how much more control you have, and how much stronger your orgasms are!
This starts to strengthen the muscles that control ejaculation. The best way to strengthen these muscles is doing Kegel exercises which gets your pelvic floor muscles working hard. You begin to train the pelvic floor to help you control the ejaculation. This muscle is known in it's proper biological term as the Pubococcygeus muscle, and it's job is not only to control ejaculation, but it controls the flow of your pee. How do you do this though (I hear you ask)? Well, you need to be able to feel the area of skin at the rear of your balls and before you reach your anus. Now, try pretend that you are stopping yourself from peeing. can you feel it tighten? Well, I hope so and if so, that is your pelvic floor doing it's work. So, get practicing tightening and releasing your pelvic floor as a start. You can advance to further kegel exercises to really get stronger and control that ejaculation.
Use a Condom
We all know the (no so) delightful effects of using a condom. So many people avoid using a condom because they complain about a lack of sensitivity or feeling. In the case of premature ejaculation, a condom can come in pretty handy. You can be hypersensitive when it comes to sex and ejaculation, so wearing a thick rubber guard should also help dull the sensations, and of course be a safe sex option!
Switch up the Position
There are a few positions that are worth a try, which can make it harder to go in for the full thrust or complete jackknife. In turn, this certainly helps delay the orgasm. Some of the harder positions are good for this, as your focus and attention is on the how to, or the balancing act rather than the bang bang. A few options here could be the 'spooning' position where you are both on your side gently rocking into each other. There is the 'cross' position where the guy is on his side, and the girl on her back with her legs and pelvis wrapped round. It is hard to get super deep or go super hard in this position, so it lends a hand to anyone with premature ejaculation.