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Having A Threesome - The Joys, The Perils, The Ins and Outs

For some people, it's just fantasy, for others they make it a reality. That’s right, you guessed it, this week we are talking about having a threesome.

So, you have decided you’d like to give it a go yourself? That’s great news! Threesomes can be a rewarding for both you and your partner plus they can help you both to explore. If you are in a relationship and you are looking to introduce someone new to the equation, there are things to be considered and discussed before you get down and dirty. So put on your seatbelt and hold on tight whilst we talk everything you need to know about threesomes!

 

Firstly, What is a Threesome?

When you type in threesome into a search engine it can be tricky to understand. Okay yes, the 2nd ranked page is a porn site which basically shows you what one is, but what is the definition?

In simple terms, a threesome is when three people all engage within the same sexual activity. The great thing with a threesome is there are no rules! You don’t have to go to foreplay then penetration then foreplay to finish, you can do or try whatever everyone feels comfortable with. It can be a combination of things to suit all three participants.

 

How Can I Prepare For A Threesome?

A very good question! On the surface, threesomes sound raunchy and sexy however it can be difficult opening up and allowing another sexual partner into the bedroom. Before inviting someone in for a threesome, discuss any doubts, thoughts or feelings you may have with your partner. Have honest and open conversations to make sure it is right for your both.

 

How To Tell A Partner You Would Like A Three Way

It can seem daunting, but asking the question is a hurdle that needs to be done. Go slow and gently when asking a partner. It’s difficult to gauge how your partner may react and may hurt their feelings. Do not rush it and make sure to have open conversations.

Bring up the topic when the time is right, and you can both talk freely. Perhaps ask questions about the future if they would consider it etc.

 

Could a Threesome Impact My Relationship?

Only enter into a threesome if you are both of the understanding that you both would like to do it. If you or your partner isn’t so sure, then instantly inviting someone in will not go well.

A consideration that will need to be addressed is jealousy. Not everyone is comfortable in the bedroom, especially with a third party rocking up. Make sure to cover all the possibilities when talking to each other to ensure it doesn’t go pear shaped when you get down to business.

 

Agreeing On The Third Party

Finding a 3rd person that both you and your partner are attracted to can be hard. Make sure you both know what you want from the third party such as personality, sexual orientation, gender, etc.

A common query is ‘how can I find a person for a threesome’. If you try online, make sure that this is an activity you do together. Make sure you take precautions when meeting people online and set boundaries for when you meet face to face. Try to meet somewhere in public first to make sure you are all happy beforehand.

If you already know the third person who will be joining in, think about how you will feel seeing them after the threesome. Will it make you feel uncomfortable at all? Discuss this with your partner and lay out everything before it happens. Perhaps as a three have a conversation before hand laying out any concerns you or your partner has.

 

Sexpectations and Boundaries

Of course, threesomes work differently for each couple. Some enjoy the attention of their partners; others enjoy watching their partner sleep with someone else.

You must be VERY VERY clear on what you class as okay in the bedroom and what is a big fat no. create a tick list with your partner about what can and can’t be done in the bedroom with the new third member. Would you be happy for your partner to have full intercourse with the third party? Would your partner be happy with the other way round? Make sure to discuss with both your partner and the third partner what positions and scenarios are you happy with.

The most important point is if either three of you want to stop when doing this, you must all stop together.

Creating firm boundaries allows for everyone to have fun and feel safe at the same time.

 

So, How does a Threesome work?

Now you feel already what next? Threesomes work differently for different people. There are no set rules on how it should work.

Perhaps start by stroking each other, then oral before penetration. Basically, just do whatever feels good for you. Pay attention to your body, body language and subtle motions. This will help direct all partners in the right direction.

Moving around in the bed can be tricky and awkward at first. Make sure to have fun and laugh with it as you’ll be able to create pleasure for the situation.

Top Tip – make sure to keep everyone involved within the situation. You don’t want one person to feel like they are being left out.

A recommendation is that the final orgasm of the session happens between the original couple.

Climaxing the two of you, without the third party, helps to feel the experience was more about the two of you. It can also help soothe any feelings of jealousy one may have.

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