We know what you are already thinking. Throughout all our blogs and everything we do, we always say communication is key…. But it is!

Communication is at the heart of having a healthy balanced sex life for any couple. Being open and honest about sexual likes, dislikes, thoughts, feelings, desires, and everything in between is the only way to make sure both parties are satisfied and happy. But as well all know, it can sometimes feel hard or slightly awkward to have these conversations.

Do not worry!! We have all been there, honest! This blog is to help you and your partner get talking about those feelings and make sure you both get the pleasures you deserve.

Discussing Sex in a Relationship

So why is it so important? Having a healthy conversation about sex is so important. It makes sure that all parties are happy and so that you and your partner know exactly what the other wants.

But what happens if you are too shy to introduce new toys? Or first the first time feel you are not satisfied with your partner in bed? We have a few things we believe you should think about prior to having the conversation.

1. Put time aside to chat – making sure you take the time to sit down, relax and be honest is crucial. It means both you and your partner can be calm and understand any issues that are underlying
2. Use TV or stories to stimulate conversation – sometimes, sex can be hard to discuss. You don’t want to sound cringe or clinical. Why not put on a saucy film such as Fifty Shades of Grey and discuss from the naughty bits of the film
3. NEVER discuss sex in an argument – yes we know, its tempting to get one over in certain arguments but don’t do it. Sex needs to be spoken about in a calm, neutral, blame-free way
4. Try not to have this chat after you have just had sex – sorry but after having sex is never the ideal time to talk about improvements. Again, pick a time that is more neutral
5. Try not to surprise your partner – this conversation shouldn’t be a surprise to your partner. Having a conversation which is a surprise could lead to a confused partner that is defensive

So, how do I talk to my partner about sex?!?

Don’t worry, we have got this

• Take it slow – don’t bombard with hundreds of new requests or speak about all the negatives of your sex. Don’t overwhelm your partner, take it slow
• Don’t just blame them – please don’t to just blame your partner. You don’t want your partner to feel uncomfortable. Talk about how both of you feel and both sides
• Choose all your words carefully – try not to use phrases such as “you never…”, “you don’t...” or even “you need to start…”. This type of wording is slightly onus. Say you really like having missionary sex, phrase it like “I really enjoy it when we have sex in the missionary position”.

Its never too late to have these conversations with your partner. It could change your sex life for the better!